White woman ends racism by posting 'not a date to celebrate' while at family barbecue

The unthinkable happened today as upper middle-class white woman Jessica Brosnan (age 20) ended racism in Australia once and for all. Jessica said she was just "doing [her] part" by posting 'Not a date to celebrate' on her Instagram story at 12:32pm. "Yeah I normally just share photos of me at the beach with my friends, but today I decided to take a stand you know?"

It's reported that Jessica accomplished this great feat while at her family's annual barbecue at their property in Mount Lawley. She was inbetween her first and second snag when the whiter-than-fairy-bread woman began reminiscing about how her Year 8 English teacher got her to read Rabbit-Proof Fence. She never actually finished it mind, but Sparknotes filled in the rest.

By 12:35pm, the entire Australian police forces were reported to have vanished into thin air, thereby ending the systemic placement of aboriginal people into the judiciary system. Witnesses say that after the police had disappeared, the only thing that remained was the faint smell of bacon.

By 12:37, all Parliaments across the country called emergency meetings, and all sides of the political spectrum decided to entirely rewrite the laws of the country to make it more fair.

In honour of Jessica, PROSH suggested we should rename the so-called ‘Australia Day’ in her honour, 'Jessica Day'. During which we will celebrate her achievement of ending racism in Australia. Jessica responded positively to this suggestion, "Thank you so much, I would be honoured to celebrate this on January 26!"

No, thank YOU Jessica, PROSH salutes you.