William street Bird found to be Front of Secret Cockfighting Ring

More than 100 roosters have been recovered after WA Police raided the Bird, an egg-cellent Perth music venue located on William Street, Northbridge. Today Tonight reports that police officers arrived recently at the venue during a fight that was attended by over 100 young people. “It was disguised to be another one of their shitty acoustic lineups,” Police Commissioner Karl O’Callaghan describes. “I think they knew perfectly well that it’s ill-eagle and wanted to cock up the system.” “We had no knowledge of this happening right under our wing... it just flew right by us,” explained Robin Hawk, head bartender of the venue. Patrons have been flocking to the Bird ever since it opened in 2010, in what has been described as a seasonal migration to Perth’s warmer climates. But with this latest revelation, the future of the Bird is looking pretty beak. The owners are currently suspected of fowl-play and are being held captive in a police commissioned wildlife sanctuary. Police began investigating after a tip off from a regular patron. “I didn’t know for sure that fights were taking place, but I became suspicious after noticing a pattern of very cheap wings being served the day after the alleged fights took place.” These suspicions were confirmed when another regular patron complained that they were “sick of eating motherfucking losers.”